Wow, it’s been a while…

Okay, so there has been a lot that’s happened in the last three years of my life.

1. I graduated from Indiana Wesleyan University with my Bachelor’s Degree.  Yippee!

2. I continue to work at a growing rural Friends Church where I am given the privilege and opportunity to serve as their Pastor.  It is a ministry that continues to have it’s ups and downs, but the Lord still allows me to serve there!

3. Lori graduated with her MBA from IWU, with a focus in Human Resources.  Yippee!  (Really proud of her)

4. Kids continue to grow and do well.  (Drew is taller than us, 6’2 and a swimmer at the High School!  Caleb is continuing to do well in main stream classrooms, not allowing Autism to define who he is, but allowing his infectious smile to show God’s grace into each of our lives everyday.  The twins, Ethan and Emma are in 5th grade and looking forward to going with me to Huntsville for Space Camp this coming spring.  I went twice as a kid growing up myself and I am looking forward to returning.)

5. Did I say that Drew is 16.  He’s not driving yet, but in a matter of weeks he will be.  Watch out world, and gray hairs for parents!  Needless to say, insurance premiums here we come!

6. Lori wrote a book!  It’s on Amazon.  It is about raising 4 children in a Parsonage in a rural Indiana.  It is autobiographical.  You should give it a read.  Check it out at:  http://www.amazon.com/Running-Through-Raindrops-Finding-Raising/dp/0983410097/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1387422013&sr=8-2&keywords=Lori+Elliott

That’s the major stuff.  I’ll add more later.  Until then… Blessings,

Dwight

Men’s Fraternity to Kick-off at Amboy Friends

Okay,

So we are set to have a local Men’s Bible Study. We’re giving it the title of Men’s Fraternity to see if we get enough guys together that would be interested in a weekly group. If that happens, then we may want to pursue studying the actual Men’s Fraternity Curriculum. This introductory study will be over the book of Luke. It’s six weeks, and it would allow for us to be able to evaluate if there are going to be enough of us interested in an actual Men’s Fraternity.

We’ll be meeting at the Church Basement on Wednesday mornings from 6-7 am. If you can make it for a part of it, but need to leave for work, we understand.

Here’s the list of what we’re studying an when. Please note that this is a tentative schedule, and may be subject to change if need be.

If you have any questions be sure to contact me at PastorDwight@AmboyFriends.org

Something to help some folks…

Okay, so it’s been like a thousand days since I posted something here… but after a bad week in our community last week, it seems that the Holy Spirit has poured out some wisdom for me to distribute. The following comes from my sermon last Sunday, and it seems to have resonated with quite a crowd of folks, so I am posting it here to refer to for others. If it helps, great, if not, then… okay.

Here’s what I said about dealing with Hazardous People.

What does Jesus do? You do what Jesus did with the Pharisees, the Hazardous people of His day.

1. Realize it’s not about you.

Realize it’s not about you. When somebody is Hazardous they’re going to try to blame it on you, they love to blame you for their pain. But it’s not about you. It’s about them. As I said, you’re as happy as you choose to be. Every time you blame somebody else for your pain you spell blame b-lame. So every time you blame somebody else for your unhappiness you’re being lame.

Romans 12:13 “If it is possible [If, not “it is” but if] as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Circle two phrases. Circle “if”. And circle “as far as it depends on you.” Those are two amazing qualifiers. I don’t know if you’ve learned this yet but it’s not always possible to live at peace. There are some people no matter what you do they’re going to still poke you in the eye. It doesn’t have anything to do with you. It has to do with their pain and their hurt.

I want you to write down three statements. This I going to be a great stress reliever for many of you. This is what God wants to say to you about the hazardous people in your life.

A. I didn’t create it.

In other words I didn’t create their hazardous behavior. Their super fearful. They’re super bitter. They’re super envious. They’re super greedy. They’re belittling or they’re nagging or nitpicking. You didn’t create that. So you don’t have to feel guilty about it. You did not create their behavior. They might want to blame you for it but you’re not responsible. It’s their choice. “I didn’t create it.”

B. I can’t control it.

You can’t control anybody else’s behavior. Whether it’s good or bad, negative or toxic or whatever. So you don’t need to worry about it. Most people when they get a toxic person in their life they feel guilty like “Maybe it’s my fault.” And they feel worried like, “I’ve got to control it.”

No. God does not expect you to control it. This is the myth of parenting. The parenting myth is “If I am the perfect parent my kids will turn out perfectly.” There’s only been one perfect parent in life – God. God created Adam and Eve. A perfect Father, He put them in a perfect environment and they still messed it up. Are you going to do better than God? If God can have kids go bad, guess what?

Some of you are carrying a lot of false guilt. If I had just done something differently! Every kid makes his choice. You are as close to God as you want to be. I’m as close to God as I want to be. If I’m not close to God, it’s my fault. If you’re not close to God, guess who moved? God didn’t.

You didn’t create their behavior and you can’t control their behavior so don’t feel guilty and don’t worry about it.

C. You won’t change their behavior.

You don’t have that ability. Don’t even try to attempt it. When you’ve got a crazy maker, when you’ve got a hazardous person in your life, it’s a waste of time to try to change them. Why? Because nobody changes until they decide to change. You can’t change anybody. You can only change yourself. People only change when the fear of change is exceeded by the pain.

When the pain gets greater than your fear of change that’s when you change. But until that happens nothing’s going to change. The amazing thing is a lot of hazardous people have an amazingly high pain tolerance. They are more afraid of changing than they are of handling the pain that they create for themselves and everybody else. And they live in a constant state of misery.

So you didn’t create it, you can’t control it, and you’re not going to change it. So realize it’s not about you.

That’s all for now… if you want more, just let me know.

May the Grace of God go with you,

Dwight

Like Jesus

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. John 1:14

Whether they are traveling through a small farming town in Nebraska, a surfing village in California or an industrial community in Pennsylvania, politicians love to show how they can relate to the people in that area. But the sad thing is that they can’t really meet those people on the same level; they can’t identify with them no matter how hard they try to make it appear like they can.

Jesus, though, never gives us that illusion of identity. He doesn’t throw up a façade to try and appear like he gets where we are coming from. Jesus Christ connected with the people of two thousand years ago, and he connects with you and me today on a level that we can understand and appreciate.

At one point we’ve all said, “No one understands my situation.” But that statement could not be further from the truth. Jesus understands; he’s been there; he knows what we go through day in and day out. He had a job – for most of his life he was a carpenter. He had the same relationships that you and I have today – mother, father, brothers, sister, friends, and enemies. He even faced the same temptations that you and I face. Jesus knows what daily living is like. He knows because he’s been there himself.

So this week, when you feel like there is no one that can grasp what you are going through; when you feel like throwing up your hands and giving up; when you have that gut reaction of, “No one understands my situation…” remember that our Savior has been there and then add two words to your statement: “Like Jesus.”

First day of school Part 1

The kids where excited to say the least… It was much harder for the twins to go to sleep than the boys, but even Caleb showed his excitement by waking up at 5 am! Here you can see them just before they got on the bus. We can’t wait to see them when they get home… We’ll post more about that later.

Pastor on Vacation

This last week has been a blast asks and my family has been on vacation near Glasgow, Kentucky.

Next week school starts and the twins are looking forward to kindergarten.

May the Grace of God go with you.

-D

Oklahoma details and Amboy’s newsletter

For more updates on the Oklahoma trip plus some photos visit amboyfriends.wordpress.com . We are also posting weekly updates and prayer list concerns as well.

Well our trip to Oklahoma…

Well our trip to Oklahoma went well. We had a great time, 20 adults went. We did a lot of work and got a lot done. I am currently on my way to Indiana yearly meeting sessions. listen

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Oklahoma!!!

So summer is in full swing…

We are preparing for the next few weeks. Next week we are at Quaker Haven enjoying Pastor’s Short course, where I am preparing a seminar… then back to Amboy on July 3rd (evening) and enjoy our 4th, and then I (Dwight) take off at 5 am on the 5th with a team of 21 people going to McLoud, Oklahoma to work at the Kickapoo Friends Center for 7 days. It’ll be a great time, and God has blessed quite a bit of our efforts in fund raising for this. All the funds are in, with fund raising efforts such as a pancake breakfast, a fish fry, and several pitch-in meals, it’s really exciting to see something that the whole church is behind.

On a more personal note, it’s been a tough week. Lori was gone to Mississippi for 2 days on business, but the kids stayed with Mom and Dad, while I spent some time preparing for all the things coming up and taking a day of rest, to go camping with a friend. It was a good time, but everything broke loose as Lori and I were making our way back to Amboy to be reunited with the kids… my mother discovered lice in Emma’s hair, which at first we thought might be an over-reaction, but nope, she was right. So we’ve been dealing with the kids and washing sheets every other night, along with treatments, and it’s just been chaotic to say the least. That coupled with the fact that we are STILL waiting for some sort of economic stimulus check to help with stuff, and have yet to receive anything. It’s just added to the pressures of what’s going on around us. In all of our years of raising kids, 11 as Drew would remind us, this is the first year we’ve encountered lice and to have encountered it 2 times in the last 6 months is a little unnerving to say the least. But, that’s part of the suffering for Christ.

Many times we’re called out of our comfort zones to suffer for some reason or another, and I’ve known that our reason is to be a strength to somebody else at some other time. It’s all part of it.

Well, that’s all the news for now. I’m probably going to put some video posts up after the trip, so that you can see the natural progression of what went on through the trip.

Please keep us in your prayers and may the Grace of God go with you…

Dwight

Slowing Down (Part 3)

Say No!

Originally uploaded by Iastald

This is a continuation of the series “Running on Empty” and due to time constraints, this was NOT in the sermon, but was a part of an early draft that I had to cut. We talk about opportunities and saying no.

Let’s be honest. How many of you have hard time saying no to opportunity? “When I see an opportunity I want to go for it.” Great. Let me give you some suggestions because I’m a pro at this one. Let me tell you how to manage opportunities. Because if you don’t manage them, you’ll drown in opportunities. There are plenty of things for you to do with your life that you shouldn’t do.

Here’s what you do. When you’re faced with an opportunity, you do three things.

A. You ask, Is it worth it? When you’re facing an opportunity the first thing you do is you ask, Is it worth it? Is it worth my time?
How do I know if it’s worth it or not? Look at what the Bible says. “If any of you needs wisdom, to know what you should do, you should ask God, and He will give it to you.” So you pray and you ask God, Is it worth it?

B. The second thing you ask when you’re facing an opportunity you ask, What am I going to give up? That’s the second question you ask before you consider an opportunity. What am I going to give up in order to do this new thing? You can’t just keep adding and adding and adding. I had to learn the hard way. You can’t keep adding things. What am I going to give up?

When you know, Is it worth it? And, What am I going to give up?

C. Then the third thing you do is you learn to say no.

I say no a hundred times more often than I say yes. I have to. It’s the greatest time saver in life. Two little letters – no. It’s like that anti drug statement “Just say no.” It not only works good for drugs, it works good for a pathetic lifestyle. Some of you are addicted to speed. And I don’t mean meth-amphetamines. I mean you’re addicted to the speed of life. You’re addicted to adrenaline and you don’t know how to slow down.

I would suggest you try going on an activity diet. Ever thought about that. Not a diet of food but an activity diet, you cut back. On your day off you do intentional things to slow your life down. Intentionally slow it down.

For instance. On my day off, on Fridays, if I’ve got to go to the grocery store, I don’t worry about getting the closest parking spot to the door. I park the furthest part away. And then I leisurely walk that distance into the grocery store. I get my groceries having a lot of fun. When I’ve got my groceries I choose the longest line. I’m not in a hurry. I look over at those poor suckers in the express lane having a heart attack. I’m over reading the National Enquirer, picking out some Certs. “Two headed boy marries three headed girl.” That’s interesting! You learn all kinds of things when you slow down. I intentionally put it slower. Learn to say no.

That’s all for now, if this has left you hungry for more, come join us at Amboy Friends Church on Sunday mornings at 10:15 am.

Hope to see you there, and as always, May the Grace of God go with you.

-D